The time is now!

After going out to my regular haunt tonight I was blown away by the severe lack of subsonic frequencies... It really bothered me that the dj tried to make up for lack of bass with the weak ass shit he was dropping by turning up the volume on the track... Problem is that doesn't add bass to the song, it just makes it louder and hurting my eardrums so any enjoyment that I could have received from your tunes is dead because you are literally hurting my ears, not just with shitty music, but with the volume cranked so high because the tracks you are dropping were not made with the proper amount of bass. Tonight a movement has begun. I am personally starting the Foundation of the Vibration, a group whose campaign is "S. ave O. ur B. ass,
The S.O.B. campaign, because the travesty I was subjected to tonight was a real son of a bitch. The S.O.B. campaing will be putting in a call to the whompbulance to deliver the vaccination of vibrations to those in dire need of a case of the WAH-WAH's. Bass: Freaks, Junkies, Fanatics, Enthusiasts, Advocates, flat out Feinds we must join together and prevent the heathenous infidels trying to pass their weak ass shit off as having enough bass... Remember making it louder does not add more bass. The only way to get MORE bass is to play the right music containing it to begin with. Everyone who knows better after being exposed to grimy filthy beats while being wrapped in a warm cocoon of weighty bass needs to rally to the cause. If it doesn't rattle your rib cage as it melts your face, you're doing it wrong... We need to rise up now before these non believers taint the blessed name of bass with their played out weak ass approximations.
True believers you have felt the vibration, you have seen the light at the top of the mountain, and you know that light would not exist without the strong foundation at it's bass. Bass is one of the corner stones that makes up the rhythm of a song. You can't take it away from us, we won't let you. The time is now before it comes to desperate times requiring desperate measures. Tonight marks the beginning of the Foundation of the Vibration and of the campaign to S.AVE O.UR B.ASS.

-jAspErwOckY BaNDeRSNaTCH